I recently had a beautiful month long vacation in the states, where I met with many of you who will read this. It was very refreshing and life-giving to be home and to interact with family and friends that I had not seen for a long time. I returned to the ship feeling ready and willing to finish out my remaining three months. But then something changed. Within the first couple of days back on the ship I knew something had changed. Not with the ship or the on board community or the hospital, but with me. I felt a clear voice telling me that I didn't belong here anymore. The ship was no longer the home for me that it was for the last two years. I knew the calling was over.
I talked this over at great length with close friends and mentors on the ship to try to figure out what was happening. The conclusion we reached was that I should stay until a suitable replacement had been found for my position and if that happened soon then I would pursue leaving early. Fortunately, I started training my replacement my second day back at work.
Here comes the difficult part. I've never been great at finishing well. I wish I could say that I put 100% into my job during this past month, but honestly I struggled to find the motivation for it. I checked out some, not completely. My bosses saw this and recognized that I don't really want to be here right now, so they graciously allowed me to step aside early and move on. This is a good thing.
I didn't come to this decision lightly. I weighed it carefully with lots of input from close friends and mentors on the ship. It's just better if I go sooner, so I picked this Monday to leave. This will allow me five days to close up the life I've lived for the past two years, sell many of my belongings, and move on.
What's next is a couple of months in the Netherlands and England reconnecting with some friends I made on the ship and making some money to start up in the fall. I have applied to some graduate schools and I'm still waiting to hear back from them. If I am accepted, then I will be pursuing my Ph.D. in biochemistry for the next several years.
You may be wondering what this means for you if you are a monthly supporter. Firstly, I apologize for the short notice. I only came to this decision today, so I could not have communicated it any earlier. I think it's fairly simple though, just cease your monthly support. If you are set on automatic withdrawal, just email elizabeth.minahan@mercyships.org and she will assist you. I still have to pay my crew fees for April, so any money already given this month will go towards that and my plane ticket to Europe.
Let me say it plainly. I could not have survived these past two years without the financial and spiritual support of all of you. My monthly supporters have faithfully kept the money rolling in that has allowed me to pay my bills and live well. I know that countless prayers have been offered up on my behalf. Thank you. Akpe Kaka. Tenki Boku. Baie Dankie.
If you'll allow me to write one more paragraph, I'd like to reminisce a bit. This 27 month journey has changed me immensely. I have learned much about different parts of the world, about other races and walks of life. I have learned much about God and have witnessed his love for the poor creatures called humans. I have learned much about myself, my strengths and my weaknesses. I have felt unspeakable joy and intense pain, love and fear, rhythm and apathy, compassion and condescension, security and loss, clarity and confusion. The first time I set foot in Africa, in Togo two years ago. Getting mugged on the beach. Dear friends coming and going all of the time. Slaving away in a hot kitchen in South Africa. A sky more starlit than black on the sails. The terrible screening day in Sierra Leone. Crazy road trips to the jungles and rivers. The freedom of riding a motorcycle down the beach with palm trees swaying all around.
